While holidays open the door to additional stress, they can also present opportunities to find meaning through turning them into spiritual practice.  If we want to make the world a better place, where better to begin than at home?  By paying attention to the challenges presented during family gatherings, we can consciously let go of past hurts, sacrifice the need to be the center of attention and help mend relations with others.

For many families, the Thanksgiving holidays bring together people who may not always get along.  Grudges, anger, feelings of hurt and despair along with expectations and hopes may lurk beneath the surface of the celebrations and lead to discontent, distress and pain.  Here are a few tips on how to elevate your spirit and contribute to a peaceful Thanksgiving

1)      Forgive someone today.  Make a conscious effort to let go of the hurts related to someone you have to face during the holidays.  You may want to write about your feelings on a piece of paper.  Then tear it up and throw it away.  Get rid of the baggage of grudges and move into the Thanksgiving celebration feeling lighter and happier. 

2)      Identify a weakness you aim to overcome.   Do you always erupt at your brother or tell off your father?  Do your pick on a sibling?  Consider what you will do to consciously change your attitude and behavior.  Do you intend to be more helpful and supportive?  Do you plan to practice patience and kindness or simply speak less?  Remember change begins within you first.

3)      Pay attention to your speech.  By sticking to kind words and words that encourage and build confidence in others, you will change the atmosphere of a gathering and help to create more harmony.  

4)  Listen to an elder or pay attention to a child who may need you.  Your small acts of thoughtfulness can brighten their day.

5)      Say “I’m sorry.”  When hurtful words slip out or negative actions take over, apologize and really mean it.

Decide your spiritual intent prior to the dinners and parties and consider how you might actively do the things you’ve identified and then act.  At the beginning of the day before your gatherings, recall your decisions and recommit to them.  During the day, make conscious efforts to do what you planned and finally at the end of the day before going to bed, assess how youself. 

 If you did okay note your progress and know there’s more to do.  If you failed, then take note, but don’t beat yourself up.  Make the efforts to do better the next time and then do it.  You’ll have another opportunity to practice at Christmastime.  In this way, the holidays become more meaningful and profound and you can contribute to making the world a more peaceful place.  Peace on earth starts at home and every small step counts.  Happy Gratitude Day!

copyright Debra Moffitt-Leslie, Nov. 2009   www.debramoffitt.com

Here are a few of the tips garnered from experts at the recent Wellness and Writing Connections Conference in Atlanta on ways to use writing for wellbeing. 

1.  If you suffer from an illness or simply want to learn more about what’s going on at a physical level, have a dialogue with your body.  Ask it questions and let it answer.  It may be helpful to use the non-dominant hand (left if you’re right handed or vice versa) for the body’s responses.

2.  Use third person narrative form instead of first person.  Instead of “I felt…” try, “Debra felt…”

3.  Write a letter to someone you’re angry with and tell them off, advises Julie Davey who works with cancer patients using guided writing prompts.  Don’t send the letter, but use it to let off steam in a healthy way.  Telling someone off, even if you don’t send it, will help you to understand and set boundaries. 

4.  Write a thank you letter to someone you appreciate.  Often we don’t take time to thank the people who are there when we need them.  Send this letter if you feel inspired to, or better yet, read it out loud to the receiver.

5.  Use metaphor to understand.  Make a list of physical symptoms--not a diagnosis--but the physical experience of the problem. After making the list ask yourself, “What in my life is giving me a...  Fill in the blank.  “What is giving me a headache?”  “What is giving me a pain in the neck?”  Sometimes a metaphorical “pain in the neck” can point to how one reacts to a situation or people.

6.  When you’re in a bad place mentally and emotionally, make efforts to move into a better one through writing.  Sometimes repeating a simple word like “love” or “thank you” over and over in your journal can produce profound effects.

 Copyright Debra Moffitt-Leslie, October 2009, www.debramoffitt.com