On my trips to India, an Indian wise man taught me that everything in life is reflection, reaction and resound.  Whatever we perceive around us, is a reflection of what is inside.  He reminded me over and over to “look for the good.”  Don’t criticize.  Try to understand, and he repeated, “look for the good.”  Human nature tends towards the base.  Almost every driver instinctively slows down to look at a car accident.  We love the dark drama.  But it’s important to train the mind to reach up and look for what’s good, beautiful, right and true.  The deepest essence of human nature reflects the powers of divinity and the beauty of the human spirit.  If we learn to be grateful for the things around us instead of yearn and mourn for all that we don’t have, then contentment will take the place of discontent.  It’s not easy.  It requires conscious, regular effort to train the mind.  But this is a daily practice to instill thankfulness and satisfaction.  It’s especially important during times when the world around wants to convince us that all is falling apart and that people are bad.  It’s the only way to get off the mental rollercoaster and be happy.

We feed and nourish our minds on what we consume – magazines, TV, radio, music, films, friends, thoughts.  We can consciously feed it with goodness rather than search for faults, ugliness and violence.

As a writing practice I make gratitude lists of the things I appreciate – a new writing desk, the stars shining at five a.m., the great blue herons, my husband’s sweet eyes.  If you have problems working with someone or relating to family, make a note of what good you see in them.  Don’t cheat.  There is always something to appreciate, value and love.  If you lack confidence, list your good and loveable qualities.  It’s a small writing practice, but it works to lift spirits and train the mind to move in a direction that is positive and constructive.  This is my challenge to you this week.  

Copyright: Debra Moffitt 2008

In the U.S. after years of speaking and writing mostly in French and Italian, I’ve returned to a country with not only a devalued dollar, but also a devalued English language.  At a dinner theatre I was introduced to the playwright’s wife.  When he announced that I’d just returned from the Swiss Alps, his wife tilted her head and said with a Scarlet O’hara Southern accent and upturned lips, “Oh I hate you.”  I laughed uncomfortably, but still steeped in European culture, I was unable to respond.  The word hate contains such a strong punch that I stood there stunned, my mouth gapping.  Needless to say our relationship never progressed. 

When I mentioned it later, my husband said, “It’s no big deal.  It’s just a form of speech.”  But I don’t agree.  Every word counts.  Every word sets the tone and reveals deeper currents of thoughts and the inner workings of character.  On a hiking trip an acquaintance offered me some, “erotic fruit.”   He stammered and flushed, “I meant exotic fruit,” he said.  Wonder where his mind was dwelling? 

Back in Charlotte, on my first trip through airport security, I was unfamiliar with the procedures.  A tall, broad woman with a blue uniform and permed hair looked down at my feet.  “Would you mind takin’ off your shoes, honey?”  She said it in such a sweet, kind way that her tone even succeeded in removing the anxiety I felt about flying.  I felt stunned by this approach too and wanted to hug her.  In Zurich, Paris, Mumbai and most other airports, the security agents’ sharp barks serve to add to the stress and strain and put otherwise decent people on edge.  This time I walked on in a comforted cloud to a white rocking chair to wait peacefully for my flight.  I love the South for this sense of courtesy and kindness.  Sweet words have the power to smooth over the challenges of everyday life.

Would you consider observing your thoughts, speech and written words today?  Do they improve or pollute the environment? 

Copyright: Debra Moffitt 2008

My distress about the irresponsible use of words by media led me to explore what the ancients say about the power of words to influence our world.  What obligations do we have as writers in bringing peace and unity to the world through our work? 

“Goodness in words means being trustworthy,” wrote Lao-tzu.  And, “Be tactful and you remain whole.”

“A long and pointless discourse itself declares to all the speaker’s lack of worth.”  And “Do not call him a man who enjoys displaying his own empty words.”  These both come from the Hindu text, the Thirukural.

“Think before speaking.  Once you make your statement, you are obligated to fulfill your words as though under oath,” from Judaism, Pele Yoetz

From Zoroastrinism:  “The best life will be for one who with his tongue speaks [and writes] in accord with good thoughts and with his hands performs the tasks of divine wisdom.” 

The Sikh’s hold that “to speak [and write] softly, sweetly and tell the truth,” are among their guiding precepts.  (From the Sikh Rehat Muryada)

From the Torah, “Do not gossip.  (Lashon Hara) Gossip, is so evil that it is compared to idolatry, adultery and murder.” – Arakhin

And finally, “Hear and understand: not what goes into the mouth defiles a man, but what comes out of the mouth, this deflies man…  What comes out of the mouth [or the pen] proceeds from the heart, and this defiles man.  For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, fornication, theft, false witness, slander.  These are what defile man.” – Matthews 15:19-20

Why is this important?  World peace begins with inner peace.  Inner peace begins with a silencing of the mind and use of the mind’s main tool – words – with wisdom and parsimony.  Words in today’s culture have been devalued.  They are used lightly and without paying real attention to the pollution they contribute in the form of confusion and division.  Like toxic waste, they fill up the airwaves, the Internet and the papers, but what positive, constructive contribution do they make to making the world a better place and providing solutions? 

This is my challenge to all of you writers and anyone who utters a word:  will you use words carefully and with clarity?  Will you choose to use words to sow peace and understanding or will you create division and more problems?  As writers we have great influence on the world.  We can make a difference for the better – or for the worse.  It’s up to us.

Copyright: Debra Moffitt 2008

In Europe in a single day, I often watch news broadcasts from several countries in different languages.  BBC and Sky from Britian; FR3, TF1, Arte from France.  Rai 1 from Italia and TSI from the Italian speaking part of Switzerland.  I also watch Belgian and Canadian news when I find them, and recently had access to English language Arabic stations.  Each channel covers stories with a unique perspective.  The Iraq war viewed from France, Italy, UAE, the US or Switzerland means something different according to who has troops there, who agreed to it and who resisted.  Everyone takes their own local or country angle first.  They cover the Olympics in the same way.  It makes life interesting to see it from different perspectives.  But a basic thread of truth weaves through them.  By watching them all I love to piece together an overview that gives me a broader perspective than I find within my limited world view as an American. 

Tolerance and openness to other ideas can test our own beliefs for validity and make us stronger.  Most political commentators on US channels wrangle and debate without respect for others’ opinions.  They cut people off in mid sentence, especially if others’ beliefs differ from theirs; and they seek conflict rather than enlightened discussion that might promote understanding.  Good manners and kindness in exchanges fly out the window.  They foster division, not peace, understanding and unity.  They present the false idea that only one point of view is right.  But the American ideal has consistently promoted and thrived on integration and exchange.   

I liked Abraham Lincoln’s humor and wise approach to politics and words.  When a cabinet member chided Lincoln for keeping a contrarian in his administration, Lincoln replied that he watched a farmer plowing in a field with an old horse.  A big fly on the horse’s rump kept biting it.  Lincoln reached out to swat away the fly and the farmer stopped him.  “If you get rid of that fly, the old horse just won’t go forward,” the farmer said.  Lincoln said he needed the guy with the other perspective to challenge his thinking and keep him moving ahead.  A variety of opinions and ideas presented in respectful and honest ways can move us ahead too.  Open discussion and debate without conflict and rancor or a desire to convert others can bring about new solutions.  But without truth and tolerance the whole discourse will be a futile waste of precious energy.     

How do you feel about the media's tolerance level?

Copyright: Debra Moffitt 2008

Writing is a mystical process that wells up from a deeply powerful source.  Words can bring peace and foster understanding or pronounce wars.  They’re building blocks – serious toys for our minds to use to construct concepts and prompt us to grow and change.  They form our minds, create barriers or help to break them down.  My mother repeated often, “If you don’t have anything nice to say then don’t say anything at all.”  This little piece of wisdom, if put into practice, can transform an environment by promoting silence and comprehension.  By relying too heavily on words, we often ignore that the feelings and intentions behind them, hidden in the secret garden, carry weight too and may even contradict speech.  When I say, “It’s fine,” with a reticent tone, it’s clear to a good listener that I’m not in accord with myself or the situation.  It’s not fine.  The same happens on paper.  Through a combination of words, we put ourselves onto the page and with them go a hint, a feeling of what we carry inside.  Words, when used with love make a tremendous impact. 

Words harm.  Sometimes the very act of labeling someone or an act they’ve committed contributes to and fosters misconceptions.  The label becomes a judgment rather than an observation.  It puts up artificial barriers.  The pain of past words that hurt reminds me not to injure my family, my friends and colleagues.  Not to shoot off emails without thinking twice. 

Words can heal too.  I watch how eyes light up when I give someone a sincere, heart felt word of encouragement.  One word can be enough to make a difference for a child to make a decision between going onto higher education or heading onto the street.  It can encourage a sick relative or send her deeper into despair.  A friend recently experienced the traumas of breast cancer.  Through the cycle of shock, denial, anger and loss of a piece of her, she came out stronger and her eyes shine with renewed self-confidence.  Family and friends call on her to help them understand their own dilemmas with breast cancer.  “I’m happy to talk to them,” she says.  Through her matter-of-fact approach and kind, gentle words of support, she is changing their world, her world and mine to make it a better place.   

Some rules I follow about what to write and say:

Will it help?  Will it encourage and inspire?  Will it improve on the silence or just add to the mental pollution?  Is it the right time to express this?  Is it true?  Will what I have to say and write foster unity and understanding?   

Copyright: Debra Moffitt 2008